英语改错

1.one -- the one (先行词得特指哦，所以要加定冠词the)
2.make friends -- 改为make friends with （make friends with sb跟某人交朋友，这边的sb是wangdan,也就是先行词the one,所以一定要有介词with）
3.before ---改为ago,因为before多用于完成时态，只有ago才能用于一般过去时
4.was moved -- 去掉was,直接改为moved，因为move是不及物动词，不能用于被动语态，直接是，搬到什么地方move to ---
5.remember--改为remembered,前后时态一致，都应该是过去时态
6.the afternoon that -- 改that为when, when= in which (in the afternoon,显然少掉了介词)
7.than--改为then,然后
8.we all - 改all为both,两个人都用Both
9.hoped--改为hoping, 因为Hope跟she是一个主动关系，这边用到的是非谓语动词，表原因
10.sunshines --改为sunshine, 它为不可数名词，同时so much修饰动词或者不可数名词
11.so many--改为so much, so many只能修饰可数名词复数，不能修饰动词

希望能帮到你，我是仔细帮你看的哦，如果有问题，可以沟通哦

Wang Dan，a quiet girl is one that you can make friends with. I got to know her three years ago ，when she moved to the city with her parents .I still remember the afternoon when I first met her. She was working in a shoe shop where I was a regular customer. We then began to talk and I learned that we all studied in the same school. She took a part-time job in her spare time, hoping to be independent. Wang Dan gives me so much sunshine and makes me laugh so much. I have many friends here in the city, and never have I had a friend like her.
很高兴为你解答！
老师祝你学习进步！
望采纳，多谢你的问题！^_^

I got to know her three years before--------before改成ago
when she was moved to the city with her parents------was去掉
where I was a regularly customer---------regular
We than began to talk--------than 你确定？是than？
laugh so many----------laugh so much
and never have I had a friend like her ------------and 改成but

1 a quiet girl is (the)one that you can make friends with .2 before- ago 3 was去掉 4 mer -met 5 than -then 6 all-both 7 (and)hoped to be independent. 8 .Wang Dan gives me so much sunshine and makes me laugh so much 9 I have many friends here in the city, and never have I had a friend like her.